Having perfect breasts was a desire that started for me all the way in elementary school. I turned nine years old and had a slumber party and my friends voted me as the one with the bigger “boobies.” We had nothing then, but I felt popular. I didn’t think much about it again, until I turned to the age where I needed a bra. My mom hadn’t bought me one, yet I felt that I needed one. My friend gave me two of hers and my mom was sad that I hadn’t asked!
Later, I wanted to show off my boobies! I was in college and referred to them as “The Girls!” I took pride in their perfection, in my opinion!
However, after having babies my identity shifted. I wanted to be able to breastfeed. This was important, but I somehow thought my boobs would become bigger. They did! I breastfed my second (my first child passed/stillbirth) and I breastfed my third. After weaning my youngest, my breasts changed dramatically! They were long and deflated. I was devastated. I was scared. I felt completely unattractive and it still bothers me.
I went to Victoria’s Secret months after weaning my daughter and they re-sized me! I was wearing bras that were too small because I was thinking that the deflation meant “smaller.” The woman at Victoria’s Secret gave me confidence by showing me how to situate my boobies in my bra! She said, “They’ll get their shape back in a few months!” I was encouraged.
They have filled out more. However, they are beautiful. Not beautiful because they are plump, full, supple. They are beautiful because of what they gave my children. I want to encourage any women healing from this endeavor to see themselves a bit differently.
What we give is far greater than what we receive.
I appreciate my boobies now! “The Girls,” made me see that I am more than what I carry physically. As I heal, I hope to continue to judge myself better than what can be enjoyed from the outside. ~S
#Breastories is a series that started by asking my lovely models about their relationship with their breasts, and I asked them to take a creative picture with their new custom CandleTit. Now, I am extending the storytelling to anyone interested in sharing their relationship with their breasts. If you have a breastory you'd like to share, please submit it here.